As we approach Valentine’s Day, it’s easy to get caught up in the expectations of romantic love. However, before you pour love and affection into others, it’s vital to remember that self-love isn’t selfish—it’s essential. How can we offer love, care, and support to our family and friends if we’re not showing up as our best, most authentic selves?
This Valentine’s Day (and everyday), I encourage you to reflect on the relationship you have with yourself. Often, we spend so much time caring for others that we forget to show ourselves the same kindness and compassion we offer those around us. Rebuilding a healthy relationship with yourself can have profound effects on your mental and emotional well-being.
Why Self-Love Matters
Self-love is not about being narcissistic or self-centered; it’s about respecting, accepting, and nurturing yourself in a way that promotes mental and emotional health. When we love ourselves, we build resilience, improve our self-worth, and, ultimately, show up in the world in a more genuine, authentic way.
Loving yourself isn’t about perfection—it’s about accepting yourself as you are, flaws and all. When we begin to treat ourselves with kindness, it naturally follows that we start to show up as better partners, friends, and community members. It’s simple: When you love yourself, you have more love to give to others.
Tips for Nurturing Self-Love
Here are a few actionable ways you can rebuild your relationship with yourself and embrace self-love:
Practice Positive Self-Talk
Often, we’re our own harshest critics. Negative self-talk can be insidious and often leads to feelings of inadequacy or low self-worth. The next time you find yourself speaking negatively about yourself—whether in your thoughts or out loud—stop immediately. Challenge the negative thought by reminding yourself that it’s just a thought, not a fact.
For example, if you think, "I’m not good enough," stop and replace it with, "I am enough, just as I am." Affirmations are a powerful tool in retraining your brain to focus on the positive, not the negative. By making positive self-talk a habit, you’ll slowly start to shift your internal dialogue to be more compassionate and loving.
Journal Your Feelings
One simple yet powerful way to check in with yourself is by writing down your thoughts and feelings. Journaling allows you to process emotions, reflect on your goals, and celebrate your successes. It’s a safe space where you can be honest with yourself and acknowledge areas of growth.
Here are a few journal prompts to help you get started:
What is one thing I love about myself today?
What am I proud of from the last week?
How can I practice more kindness to myself today?
What is one thing I can let go of today to make more space for love and peace?
Mindfulness and Meditation
Mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or meditation, are excellent tools for reconnecting with yourself. By spending a few minutes each day practicing mindfulness, you can center yourself and create a calm, loving space. Mindfulness allows you to be present with your thoughts, without judgment, and create the space for self-compassion.
Celebrate Yourself on Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is often focused on romantic relationships, but what if you took a different approach this year? Instead of worrying about what others may or may not do for you, celebrate yourself. This day is an opportunity to honor the relationship you have with yourself.
Here are a few ways you can celebrate self-love on Valentine’s Day:
Treat yourself to something special—a favorite meal, a relaxing bath, or time spent doing something you love.
Write a love letter to yourself. Express gratitude for the person you are and acknowledge all the ways you’ve grown and evolved.
Give yourself permission to take a break. Whether that means saying no to obligations or resting from work, allow yourself time to recharge.
Let Go of Intrusive Thoughts
We all have intrusive thoughts—those little negative whispers that can shake our confidence and make us question our worth. The trick is to recognize these thoughts for what they are: temporary, fleeting, and unimportant.
Instead of allowing them to spiral, practice mindful detachment: notice the thought, acknowledge it, and then let it go. You don’t need to believe everything your mind tells you. In fact, not believing everything you think is one of the best practices for building a healthy relationship with yourself.
Set Boundaries With Others
To truly love and respect yourself, you must set healthy boundaries with others. Saying "no" to requests that don’t align with your values or capacity is not selfish—it’s an act of self-love. It’s important to create space for yourself and protect your time and energy.
If you constantly say yes to others at the expense of your own well-being, you’ll eventually burn out. Start small by practicing saying no, and then gradually build up your ability to set stronger boundaries.
Spend Time Doing Things You Love
Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Whether it’s knitting, hiking, painting, or reading—make time for hobbies that help you relax and unwind. These activities allow you to express yourself creatively and give you a sense of purpose.
Self-Care Equals Self-Love
Nurturing yourself through self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. When you care for yourself, you create space for growth, healing, and connection. Whether that means taking time to relax, exploring new interests, or simply prioritizing your mental well-being, remember that self-love isn’t selfish. It’s the foundation for living a fulfilling, balanced life.
If you're struggling with pervasive negativity, feelings of sadness, or symptoms of depression that seem ongoing and difficult to overcome, you don’t have to go through it alone. At Wellbeing, we’re here to support you in your healing journey. Whether through ketamine therapy or other mental wellness resources, reach out to us—we can help you rebuild and rediscover your inner peace.
